Mindset and Managing Emotions
Ok… so this is it. My first ever blog post. I’ve been over complicating it and now I know, you just have to start. Somewhere. Anywhere. Let’s talk mindset and managing emotions.
I want to tell you a story…
Before I had my baby girl, who is now 6 years old (going on 16, but that’s another blog post), I was faced with the very real possibility of infertility, of never having my own child. I remember after my first failed IVF attempt, my husband and I were called for a follow up with the gynaecologist. I went in hopeful. I knew that my numbers were bad but surely there was going to be some more treatment. Another attempt. I remember the words uttered by the gynaecologist word for word. And they were; ‘I would be shocked and surprised if you ever got pregnant with your own eggs’. My world came crashing down.
I spiralled. I lost my shit. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t see people. I couldn’t deal with anyone who was happy. Hell, I couldn’t deal with parent and baby parking. Why was I being discriminated against because I couldn’t have a baby.
My sister was getting married. My mum was suffering with major depression and I had to step up. Indian weddings are a big deal. Huge family affairs and that meant I couldn’t hibernate.
I had one thing that I clung on to, the only thing I felt that I knew and that was dressing up and looking good.
None of my family knew I was struggling and none of them knew I was going through something so devastating (except my sister and my mum) and I didn’t want people to know. I couldn’t take the pity and I couldn’t take the questions.
The power and awesomeness I felt, I wore red lipstick and heels, golds, blacks, bright blue, faux fur, feathers and sequins. I was on point. When I was in my armour, I couldn’t be touched. I could face anything and anyone and I felt ok. I can’t tell you how much this helped me and I know it can help you too, I recently read an article about ‘enclothed cognition’ and I was blown away, I was reading about me.
All you need to find is your armour. What is it for you that exudes confidence. That makes you feel like that powerhouse. You know it, you just need to bring it to the surface. Mindset is everything. I was reading ‘the seven habits of highly effective people’, I haven’t managed to read it all yet but what I read struck me. Only you control how you feel and and only you have the power to allow people to make you feel a certain way. You have the power to say; ‘I’m not letting what you say affect me’. You just need to embrace the mindset.
I want you to take this away with you and try it. Let me know how you get on.
